You ever watch that show Zombie House Flipping?
They walk into a home that’s been rotting for years—holes in the walls, mold on the ceilings, a possum in the bathtub—and somehow… they bring it back to life. Gorgeous, clean, revenue-generating.
That’s exactly what we do with affiliate programs.
Because too many brands don’t have an affiliate strategy. They have a Zombie Affiliate Program.
It’s technically “live.” But it’s not moving. It’s not converting. It’s not evolving. And worst of all, it’s draining your credibility with partners.
What Is a Zombie Affiliate Program?
It’s the kind of program where:
- Partners signed up last year, never heard from you again
- No one knows if tracking works
- Your agency says “it’s managed” but can’t explain the performance drop
- There’s no pipeline, no activation plan, no tiered bonuses
- New partners join and immediately go dark
- Old partners are coasting on past performance
It’s stale, silent, and under-optimized—and it’s costing you real revenue.
Top 10 Signs Your Affiliate Program Is Undead
Even if your affiliate manager or agency tells you it’s “doing fine,” here’s what to look for:
- No new partners onboarded in the last 90 days
- Top partners haven’t received personalized outreach or performance reviews
- There’s no partner tiering, no bonus structure, no roadmap
- Content and influencers are missing from your partner mix
- Tracking hasn’t been QA’d or updated across platforms
- You’re not in touch with platform reps (Impact, Awin, CJ, etc.) regularly
- Dashboards only show last-click, with no view of assisted or contribution value
- No one knows how the affiliate channel compares to other paid channels
- The same 5 partners drive 90% of revenue—and no one’s replacing them
- Your affiliate team can’t tell you where the next $100K in growth will come from
If you see 3+ of these? You’ve got a zombie on your hands.
What We Do at Chief of Chaos
We flip affiliate programs the same way TV crews flip abandoned houses.
We:
- Rebuild the foundation (tracking, attribution, economics)
- Redesign the experience for partners (onboarding, messaging, incentives)
- Reposition the program as a serious channel, not an afterthought
And the result? A program that’s alive. Predictable. Scalable. Partner-first.
It’s not magic. It’s management. And it works.
Bonus: Free Affiliate Program Audit ($4,000 Value)
Not sure if your program is undead or just sleepy?
We’ll tell you.
Get a free affiliate audit—our $4,000 blueprint for diagnosing and rebuilding your affiliate engine. No strings. Just truth.
👉 Request your free audit here
Weekly Chaos Challenge
Forward this newsletter to your affiliate manager or agency. Ask:
“How many of these 10 issues apply to us right now?”
If they get defensive or vague— It’s time to bring in the crew.
Until next week— Don’t scale a haunted house. Flip the foundation. Build something that lasts.
—Matt Frary
Chief of Chaos
